Becoming a Zombie

As a new Halloween season starts to approach, I find myself needing to stock up on essentials yet again, so I thought I'd share my (old) video on "How to become a Zombie."

This video is frightfully old and lost some letters of text in the editing process, but still accurate in procedures. Since you're already here, though, I can provide some links to the supplies that I recommend.

The Must Haves:

Liquid Latex- http://www.stagemakeuponline.com/02-LL/Liquid-Latex-Ben-Nye.html
"Death Flesh"- http://www.stagemakeuponline.com/02-P/Proscenium-P-Series-ben-nye.html
Fake Blood- http://www.spirithalloween.com/product/bottle-of-blood-1-pint/ (An alright site, but I recommend buying from local Halloween shops if you have them!)

Spirit Gum (for sticking things to you!) http://www.stagemakeuponline.com/02-SG/Spirit-Gum-Adhesive-Ben-Nye.html

Anndddd some sort of medium for texture. I like toilet paper because it's cheap and effective, but you can use anything... even sponges! (Gross!)

Things that are nice:
Eyeliner (from anywhere) Blacks and purples are good and SUPER great at making the sunken in eye look. 

A Bruise Wheel-http://www.stagemakeuponline.com/02-CK/F-X-Color-Wheels-Ben-Nye.html
(For extra drama!)

You'll be a zombie in no time once you have these items! I recommend practicing a few times before going to Trick or Treat, to an event, ect. Practice makes perfect, AND you can push the limits/change it up.

Send your zombie looks and creations to us and we'll reblog to show everyone what YOU have created!!!

Magic Mesh!

Hello all! I know I haven't posted in a while, but life has been crazy. I'm pretty much making a disclaimer now that if I say I'm going to try to post more, it probably won't happen. However in the time it's been since we've talked my grandma and dad have both had surgery, I've taken a mini-vacation, AND I'm now engaged! (Woo Hoo) So this time I actually have some viable excuses.
..... and the excuse of Harvest Moon.

Me Gusta

Anywho, I don't have a comic or anything like that for you today, but rather a product (p)review. Which.... is like a product review but basically a preview of what I think of it based upon the advertisements and commercials!

Today we're looking at the product only a genius could invent- Magic Mesh!

If you hadn't seen the ad, here ya go:

This makeshift screen is useful for people who have "full hands,forgetful family members, and pets!" Plus, the real winner is that you can keep "annoying bugs out!"

When starting the ad, it's apparent from the first few seconds that the acting is subpar. (Unless it's normal that a person would frantically swat at a swarm of bugs that have been waiting for the exact second you open your door.) However, I can't blame them for that because why spend frivolously when you're advertising a product that could be designed by a monkey?


I understand the initial use of this product. If you didn't have a screen door, it'd be a nice alternative. However, MOST houses have a screen door, or windows with screens if nothing else.

As for the claims of why it's a great product, I don't completely buy it. They say it is useful if you have full hands,  but if you're traveling to your deck like the lady in the commercial, I'd say you can afford the time to make two 5 foot journeys.

My next beef with the advertising here is that this product is good for family with a bad memory.... and we're not talking about grandma here. The commercial clearly  displays a teen boy forgetting to shut the door behind him. I'm sorry, but if my child is so thick-skulled that they can't remember to shut the door, they deserve to walk into a sliding glass door.


The last point I’ll hit on that the commercial tried to make is the issue of annoying bugs and their constant mission to invade your home. Bugs are gross and annoying, yes, but the likelihood that they’re waiting just inches from your front door is VERY small. The ad tries to make it seem like in the 3.5 seconds it takes to walk out the door and close it, bugs are going to join in formation and ransack your home. If your yard has as many bugs as the tropical rainforest like the one shown in the commercial, you probably shouldn’t go outside anyway.

To top it all off, the secret in this “Magic Mesh” is about as magical as my big toe. In recent developments, scientists must have come to  the conclusion that magic = magnets. This shocking news would surprise everyone but the members of ICP... they knew it was magic all along. 

If this doesn't make sense, just listen to their song "Miracles"
(PS: The only miracle I associate with them is the fact they have fans....)

A final rating (p)review of this product would be 2 out of 5. It’s useful, yes, to a VERY SPECIFIC group of people. The product would sell itself if people really need it, which makes the commercial completely unnecessary. No one who ever needed one was like “Holy Crap, TV ads have saved me from the tyranny of the insects and my lack of screen door!” To the makers of Magic Mesh, stick it on the shelf in Walmart and alike stores... you might get some business instead of a mockable product.  

Ahh Summer (As in ahh, that's refreshing, not AHHH scary.)

I've been away doing epic, epic things. Like, for instance, slaying dragons and  raiding castles. Wait... maybe that was just in Skyrim. -Shrugs-


In actuality, I've been resting. Finals week along with finals work duty was brutal, so I've been kicked back a bit at home, regaining my strength and sanity.


However, as usual, I will make a plan to post a bit more frequently. 


I don't have any great material for today, as it's been stagnant at home. However, inspired by my crazy siblings, we put together this, erm, interesting video. Enjoy!


http://youtu.be/_ESwdKoRrzU


I couldn't get it to post in a mini video in the post, so I'm sorry!!! 


Hope to correspond with you all soon!


~xoxoxoBritt<3

The Tale of the Enderman

Hello all! You might have noticed an addition to the sidebar, there is now a link to the darkhaven minecraft online webpage. This is the minecraft server I play on now and my boyfriend runs. We always love to have more people, so join us if you play the game! 

In other news, this is the 50th post! Woo. To stay with the minecraft theme, I created another meme to sum up how I feel about a portion of minecraft.

Endermen are sassy, sad creatures. My back story for this is that they used to be a squid and lost most of their limbs. Their inability to swim freely and happily now makes them hate the water. In fact, rain or any other water brings that very depression back to the surface and enrages them. 


Additionally, with no purpose in the sea any longer, they have become grumpy creatures who want to make sure everyone loses something, just like how it lost limbs. So, it steals blocks away from you. If you make direct eye contact with one, the enderman has become aware of its loss and buried depression once more. It reacts in the only way it knows how, lashing out. 


Feel sorry for these tormented creatures, for they are truly just sad. 


I hope to write again soon, and until then have a great day!


~xoxoxoBritt<3

Vending Machines

When you read this title, you're probably going to be like... seriously, again? I'm not obsessed with vending machines or anything like that, but we just have some on campus. I was watching someone get something from a machine one night this week, and I had a thought. 

Standard Vending Machine

Here is your standard vending machine. When I looked at it, I noticed a common flaw. I do not know who decided it to be this way, but have you ever noticed that the chips are at the top?


Whoever decided that must have been like, "Hmm which thing will probably break the most when it falls from the top row? I know, chips!" 


In my opinion, candy bars would probably hold up better over a distance. And really, designer...gum? Gum gets like the lowest spot. Whoever designed the vending machine obviously didn't think about this. 

Farmville 2.0?

First off, sorry for the lack of updates, I've been SUPER busy!!!  However I have some interesting stuff for you today so sit back and enjoy. 


If you know a 30-50 year old as a friend on Facebook, you probably know what Farmville is. What you do is basically build a farm, harvest, make it  look cute, and repeat. It's essentially purposeless except for the title of supreme Farmville ruler. This brings me to my little story:


I was browsing the interwebs and found a link at the top of my page advertising an online game. Before trying it,  I noticed one flaw in the ad itself. 

Okay. Maybe I'm a bit of a smart ass, but to "conquer the humans" seems like a stupid idea. If I'm not mistaken, blood is the driving life force of vampires,no? -facepalm-


Alright, so I checked out the game to see if they could explain this angle. Apparently they have blood laboratories. It's something like the "True Blood" in, well, True Blood. However, I have some major questions before I'm about to believe that this stuff will successfully sustain an entire population. 


Here's the second fact to consider. The vampires apparently also  fight each other. Okay, great! Now I have another question. Don't we get new vampires from humans? Huh. 
This is interesting. Don't they realize that eventually their kind will probably die out, whether it by vampire war or accidents?


Sigh. Oh well. If you need an emo version of farmville, this  is for you. 


Additionally these are the pages that I found the link on. :) Enjoy these pictures. 

I don't know what that weird thing is,btw, so if you do... let me know! 


~xoxoxoBritt<3

Animal Hoarding

I'm not sure if I'm the only one, but my boyfriend and I recently got to experience the wonders of the show "Obsession: Animal Hoarding" on Animal Planet. While it was disturbing in ways, I had to share a piece from the episode I saw. 


In the episode, the "obsessed" person was Patrick, a snake hoarder. His favorite snake from his varying collection may be his albino snake. It is over 12 feet long. TWELVE! 


Anywho, the show was mildly entertaining, but what got me is the fact that they let the snake roam around outside. 


Observe:

That is a clip from the video of the snake waiting at the door to get out. Wow. 


The question I raised here through the laughs was, a cat might scratch and meow at the door... so what does the snake do? 


Hiss. Hiss. Boom. (the boom is from slamming his head into the door, because he has no appendage to do so) 


Also, if it's blurry, here's a still-frame of this sucker: 

Isn't it comforting to know that that thing is just roaming around in someone's yard? 

Long story short, being hyper makes stupid stuff like that highly amusing. Try to check the episode out if you can, though, it's pretty interesting! 

Additionally, I haven't verified this, but blogger says that this is my 47th post!!!!!!!! Click this if you're willing to accept the fate of 47!

~xoxoxoBritt<3

New Towel

For anyone who has ever used a new towel, this is for you: 

I recently got a new towel, inspiring the idea. Nothing quite this drastic happened, but if it had... well, I'd be excited. Nothing like pretending you're in Avatar all day. :) Enjoy!


~xoxoxoBritt<3

Tiny Wings

While the opportunity for me to sit down and play a full game is seldom present, I do get the chance to play games on my iphone pretty frequently.

One of my favorite games is Tiny Wings. While this game is bright, cheery, and inviting, it has a more sadistic side.

Up, up, and awa----down.

For those who haven't played, this game has a simple concept. You are a bird who doesn't have wings that can carry you. By using the hills, you can temporarily fly and earn points. You must be careful, though, because for some reason you must stop flying at night.

Alright. I'll give them some credit for the cute graphics. It looks fun and upbeat, however, this is a romanticized version of a more grimm fairy tale. (Yeah the kind where Cinderella's step sisters get their eyes pecked out)

First, the concept of "tiny wings" on a bird is depressing. Not once do they mention why the wings are too small to carry him/her. If it were still a small chick, I'd be totally okay with that. However, it seems like it's presented that it is a full-grown bird. This provides no hope. It seems as though you're designed to fail from the start.

Next, I have a beef with the fact how the game session ends. You never "beat" a level, but it simply ends when the night comes. It seems a bit dangerous that you stop flying/falling mid-air. I also have a problem with the way the game presents the onset of the night. Observe:

Keyword- Hunting. HUNTING! Seriously?

Okay. Last but not least, I have an issue with the level-up perks. I thought maybe you'll change colors or, hey, even get new wings. Wouldn't it be great if you eventually worked up to normal sized wings and you could beat the game? But no. You get a nest. NEST. You apparently just fall asleep in the middle of a hillside, but you get a new colored nest, so that must make everything okay.

Great. While the other birds mock you, they can at least admire your fine decor.

On a related/unrelated note, there is an andriod version of the game that anti-apple people could access. (Thanks to my boyfriend for showing it to me) It's called "Dragon, Fly!" I believe there is a free version as well as a paid one. I find the graphics a little less girly and cute, but the concept seems to make a bit more sense.

You're a cute baby dragon running away from home. Since you're a baby, though, your wings are too feeble to carry you. When times runs out, though, the night doesn't "hunt" you, but rather your mother comes to bring you back home. Plus, you change colors when you level up, how cool?! Much less depressing than the outlook of never being able to fly and living alone forever. A good alternative for those with android/those who don't mind sacrificing the girly aspect for a more concrete storyline.

Until next time.

~xoxoxoBritt<3



Animal, vegetable, mineral.....

As a kid, I used to play 20 questions in the car with my grandparents. Nowadays I guess parents are lucky because there is a device that will now play 20 questions with you! All you have to do is hit a button. 


I've played with these some in the store, but I was really excited today when I came across a virtual version while using Stumble Upon. 


You can find it ----> Here!

I discovered that it's either the most stupid or the most intelligent device I've ever used. 


While trying to get it to guess red panda/ firefox, it guessed a pikachu. It never got the answer correct even after additional guesses. 


Then I was impressed because I tried to get it to guess an eggplant. It asked me several questions that really didn't make sense based upon the fact that I said it was a vegetable. "Does it have a horn?" Well....no... "Does it have four legs?" NO! I imagine it smirked at me at this point as the words scrolled across the screen.... "Are you thinking of an eggplant?"


Dang. Impressive. 


Anyway, I hope you have as much fun as I do with it. Also... I'm immature, but it's hilarious...................................

The fact that poop is singular according to 20Q just makes it better. 

Blogging: Not for everyone

Hello everyone! I hope that January is going splendid for you!


I've been talking to some people lately and the topic of blogging came up. While I strongly encourage people to write and create, it is in my strong opinion that some people should just not blog at all. I don't think that I'm any better or worse than the next person at writing, but I try to make sure that my blog meets some kind of criteria. So here are my top 5 reasons why you shouldn't have a blog: 


1. Content
 If you're expecting any sort of audience, you need to provide something with substance. I'm guilty of posting a video or sharing something funny now and again. However, if you can't create diddly squat to entertain people, or come up with something unique... don't waste my time. If you want to make a personal blog, that's fine. If you're wanting to entertain someone, make sure you're actually capable of that before writing. 


Additionally, if your longest blog post only has like 100 words or so, you probably need to up the ante. People like things short and to the point sometimes, but if they're taking the time to actually read something, they are probably going to want something with at least a little bit of substance. 


2. Grammar and punctuation
I'll be the first to tell you that not everyone is perfect when it comes to grammar and punctuation. That's okay! Everyone slips up now and again. I know that I do! However, some things are inexcusable. 

• Words like tho, wut, and cuz are not really words. Please learn this. 
• Commas exist! I know that it's crazy, but it's true. 
• I shouldn't have to mention it, but I've seen blogs where the spelling or usage of a word is wrong. What makes it even better is the fact that they'll use/spell it right in another sentence. How is that possible? 
• I know English isn't the easiest language to learn! However, if you were raised with it, you should understand simple, simple concepts. I don't even want to say anymore on this subject, so just read this: How to use the English language, son.

3. Introduction

I don't expect every blog post to start out with the most riveting line I've ever read, but I do have some sort of standard. If only two of your blog posts don't start out with the word "so," you probably have a problem.

Although it's not a post introduction, also make sure your blog title is interesting. It is the introduction to your blog as a whole, so you'd think it should be important. If it's difficult to spell or remember, it'll kill your audience unless you already have a widely established fan base. 

4. Presentation

If I wanted to sleep, I'd find a bed, not your blog. Learn that sentence variety livens things up. You could use question marks, ellipses, or even *gasp* an exclamation mark! I don't want to read something like this:

"So, I saw a guy on the street today. He wasn't wearing pants. Don't you think that is crazy, people. Anyway, I don't have much else to say. I'll talk to you again when I acquire more material."

That kind of blog post is snooze central, and the only thing shocking to the reader is that you had the audacity to start another post out with the word "so" again. 

5. Originality

For the love of God, be unique. I really, really try not to take any material from things I've read elsewhere. In fact, if I'm feeling an itch to write, I'll make sure to do so before reading someone else's blog. It's fine to use someone else's material as a basis, but when you basically just rewrite the lines in a new way, you're stealing. 

I don't want to be a party pooper, so I'll stop there. Additional fact, though: If you went to check to see if your blog is the basis of this post... you probably shouldn't have a blog. There are a million more things I could say on this subject, but I'll leave it at that. If you want to start a blog or have a blog, just take some of these notes into consideration. 

Until next time, enjoy this picture of Batman and kittens:

http://28.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_kzorlg2WJl1qzpwi0o1_500.gif

 I'd post it directly on here, but the black background makes it look poopy.
 

~xoxoxoBritt<3

Happy New Year from CZM!

Ahh the new year! Isn't it great? Everyone is all about their resolutions and making this year better than the last. I think I should make a resolution to have a really crappy year, then next year I'll make a resolution to have a better year than the last. 2 resolutions succeeded. 
But seriously... my  resolution is to become Batman. Okay, once again, not really. But I wanted an  excuse to bring up Batman to share this with you:

As soon as I'm back to school and into the swing of things there will be more updates! Do not fear! If you're in college and on a break, enjoy the rest of your time off! Keep reading, and be sure to follow us on facebook! :) 

Stickers???

I'm often wanting to make some sort of CZM merchandise, and now I have! Introducing the CZM sticker!!!! It's fun CZM goodness for all your dedication. You'll also notice a new addition to the page. We now have a donation button over.....



<-------------- there (somewhere)


Donations will go to me (Brittany) to help me make more CZM merch, hopefully boost me to be able to have a self-sustaining website rather than a blog, and provide prizes that won't have to come out of my own pocket.


What were we talking about to begin with? Oh yeah... stickers! They look like this:  

Minus the white part, of course. Also, they're freeeeeee!!! 

I'm not sure when they come in (if it's before Winter Break, you can have them sooner) but all you need to send me to get one is your address. First come, first serve. Additionally, our e-mail is crazyzombiemuffins@gmail.com This is private and no one will see your address but I. 

I hope you guys are as excited as I am, and I hope you keep reading CZM!

PS: I'll let you know when they have been mailed. Also, if you know you'll see me in person, still send an e-mail and I can hand deliver it. 

~xoxoxoBritt<3

                                                   

I like to smell things

The title of this post is no joke. I really like to smell things. It's kind of weird, I guess. I think [some] people smell good, though, and why not enjoy it? Also soap smells good, lotion smells good, and mmm candles. <3


However, you must know your boundaries when smelling people. While thinking about this, I considered the "let me borrow your jacket" syndrome. When you steal the jacket of a good smelling person, odds are you're also stealing it to smell them/their perfume/ whatever. I have come up with a chart, though, on how acceptable smelling certain clothing items would be. Observe. 

As you can see, acceptablity kind of works its way down the body. 
Jackets- Highly Acceptable
Shirts- Acceptable
Bras- Questionable
Pants- Just weird
Underwear- Creepy/Perverted
Socks- Gross/disgusting 


The one other thing I did consider is hats. Now... I'm not quite sure how to judge hats. 

Are they okay to smell? Not okay? Creepy?

Here's my formula, let me know if  you think of something better. 
If they use hair products, it's okay. 
A sweaty baseball cap, however, not so okay. 


Food for thought: Scarves, gloves, ski masks. 


PS. Sorry for my crappy drawing skills. Yo. 


~xoxoxoBritt<3

FSU Internet

I've learned that my best way to rage about things is through memes lately. Que sera sera, at least it's somewhat entertaining. And the subject of the day is......

CAMPUS INTERNET

I don't even think you're supposed to have routers, let alone ones with names like this. 

The story of my life right now. It really doesn't make much sense.  

.................................................................

This literally happened. Yet another mystery of the FSU internet. 

Maybe there are tiny routers on the floor that only cover a 1/2 foot radius. 

I just want to watch potter puppet pals for crying out loud. 

If you're reading this now, you're probably not on campus. Also, I probably hit that five minutes of internet in the 5:500 working to not ratio.


~xoxoxoBritt<3

FSU Dining Hall

Hello Hello Hello. Contrary to popular belief, I AM alive. I've just been too busy to post. However, I have come up with my own meme about the FSU dining hall. Won't make too much sense to non-students, but still the hardcore truth. It might possibly be true about other campus dining halls as well. 

While they offer lots of things, it's usually not very appetizing or is something that only
 .01% of the population would actually want to eat. 

All I can say about this is... I wish I were kidding. The entry way
literally had a dead tree with toilet paper hanging from the ceiling
during Halloween. Easy to overlook, yes, but when
 I saw it I was like... O_O

Brownies aren't brownies when they're dry, and just because you put
 that cake in a cup with some whipped topping doesn't mean it's "fresh"

I've heard this complaint from multiple people, so I thought I'd include it. 

Sometimes they have really awesome stuff. If you have class or don't
want to eat until like 5:30, though, you're pretty much screwed
because they often take down shop early. 

I understand that it is a hassle to clean extra tables, but it's not t
hat bad when you have one person solely assigned to do it. But no.
Instead I have to sit right beside a million other people when there is
an abundance of tables chained off (by a plastic mock
chain no less) for no apparent reason.  

Waffle night. Banana split night. Same story. Very delicious, but they
decide to only assign one or MAYBE two workers to this line. They also
 decide to make waffles individually instead of preparing a few before
hand. They do what they can to keep the line down, but I wish they'd
 let some people help them. 

So. There you have it. FSU dining hall meme! 


Additional food for thought:
(first off, haha. "food for thought." Didn't say that intentionally , but it's funny because this was about a dining hall)
I was thinking about toilet paper in trees, and I decided it is probably like one of the ultimate insults to trees. I mean, it's a dead, bleached, chemically stripped version of a tree, thrown onto a tree. If we threw embalmed chunks of people onto other people, we'd probably be pretty insulted. It's a sick, sick world. 


~xoxoxoBritt<3

I'm back!

The past few weeks have been ridiculously busy for me. Maybe it'll allow me to appreciate my free time, though,  and I can get more posts done! :) 


Thanks for reading my blog, and I hope to have more up soon! 


<3 Britt

Sorry!!!

CZM is having some technical difficulties. Which mostly means blogger is being a pain in the butt. I noticed the last post looks all misaligned now. Totally wasn't supposed to be like that. We'll work on getting that fixed.

Until then, check out this:

Fan made as a t-shirt idea! Make sure you're also sending us your ideas! (Facebook works well for that) =]

I found Edward Cullen in Applebee's and Hitler in the Library

I've decided that crazy events, things, and people just follow me around.... I decided to take pictures of them. My first observation was our creepy, pale, unhappy, and poorly named waiter at Applebee's.

At least he attempted to serve the people
with the uncontrollable child behind us well.
Look at that almost-smile.
He was kind of disgruntled, and not very good at serving others. While we have sympathy and admiration for pale people, this kid was also some sort of freak. If he bleached his skin, he'd probably look darker. (Fo reals) I'm debatably just as creepy for following him around and taking pictures, but it's whatever. 

Happy waitresses always leave happy little smiley faces on recipets, so I left this vampiric dude a tip for life a-la Demetri Martin. "Never Tacos Before SCUBA" I gave him a monetary tip too, if that counts for anything. The life tip was more heartfelt and genuine, though. Maybe he smiled for once instead of being so brooding and sullen. The next most exciting thing in my life is Library Hitler. Believe it or not, I'm no vandal. I'd love to make my mark on this world, but I'd rather do it legally. However, someone else's vandalism made me chuckle.  Once a statue, now a blasphemous practical joke. Judging by the what looks to be juice (or blood) stains on it, though, I'm going to guess it isn't the first (or last?) time this statue was or will be desecrated. It's probably a really bad thing, but at least this guy is getting some attention. (Negative  attention = positive attention right??) Anywho, I'll be posting again in the near future. (I can feel it) In the meantime, send me candy (or other cool stuff in the mail) That'll be a challenge because I'm not giving you my address.....

~xoxoxo Britt<3

Gateway to the Supernatural!

I've missed you all so! However, I can say that I've gotten a lot accomplished with school, work, and family life. Speaking of family life, I've gotten to go home for the first time in two months!! While venturing home, though, I saw something that struck me. I've pondered it a lot since and I'm still not completely sure of the meeting. 
Outside of a church near my home, a sign reads: "Jesus- Gateway to the Supernatural"


Now, I don't know if my vocabulary is askew, but the last time I checked, "supernatural" isn't a synonym for "heaven." Correct me if I'm wrong, though. I think heaven may share qualities with the supernatural, but for heaven to collectively be the supernatural.... well it's questionable. 


I'll just show you what I think of:

Jesus and I are homedogs, and he introduced me to the alien you see there 

That pretty much sums it up, although, the alien could be Edward Cullen or even a ginger kid. 

Unrelated to anything in life, if you have a beard, have ever seen a beard or have ever thought about a beard, this is for you....

I'm pretty sure if you click it, the size improves. 

I hope you all enjoy your week! I'm actually planning on making CZM t-shirts soon! I'll keep you posted!!!!!!!!!

~xoxoxo Britt<3