The day seemed normal, and I needed a shower. Showers are normally awesome for me. I like feeling clean and it can be stress relieving. However, after I stepped into my shower and started wetting my hair, I noticed something lurking in the corner.
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| Seemingly harmless..... |
Yeah, it was a freaking spider. So, since I had to deal with that crazy situation, I have advice for those who may experience it! Some may say I'm silly, but I'm just protecting you from letting a spider rape your naked body of life while you're just trying to get clean.
1. Constant Eye(s) Contact.
First off, I'm not really sure how many eyes spiders have... but I've found if you DON'T WANT TO DIE, keep staring at it. This may not be true, but it will alert you if it moves. By constantly watching it, you won't be so vulnerable, and your reflexes will be much faster if it does go in for the kill.
2. Shampoo With Caution
While shampooing and/or conditioning seems like a shower time necessity, be wary. When you're head is aimlessly placed under the shower head, you are unable to retain good focus on Mr. Spider. He'll be lurking, waiting for your vulnerable point. Shampoo will make your hair luxurious, but that spider will KILL you. So watch out!
3. DO NOT ANTAGONIZE
You may feel the urge to risk it and attack the spider. Sure, you could kill it with a shampoo bottle or rinse it down the drain, but what if you fail??? Do you really want to risk the chance of pissing it off when you're naked and unarmed? I think not.
Getting rid of the spider is a different story. You have a couple options for this one.
1. MAN-UP!
Yeah, that's right. Become a man, and beat that spider to a pulp.
2. Get someone else to do your bidding.
This is usually my favorite method of spider execution. If you don't mind the title of "wimp," get someone else to kill that sucker. It makes them look awesome and BA, but you ultimately get rid of your problem.
The only thing you DON'T want to do is....
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD,
Don't ignore it. It'll make you crazy.
Every time you shower, you'll wonder. Is it here? Did it get into my bedroom? Maybe it's laying eggs in my sink!!!
Don't fall for it's innocent facade. Kill it.
2. Shampoo With Caution
While shampooing and/or conditioning seems like a shower time necessity, be wary. When you're head is aimlessly placed under the shower head, you are unable to retain good focus on Mr. Spider. He'll be lurking, waiting for your vulnerable point. Shampoo will make your hair luxurious, but that spider will KILL you. So watch out!
3. DO NOT ANTAGONIZE
You may feel the urge to risk it and attack the spider. Sure, you could kill it with a shampoo bottle or rinse it down the drain, but what if you fail??? Do you really want to risk the chance of pissing it off when you're naked and unarmed? I think not.
Getting rid of the spider is a different story. You have a couple options for this one.
1. MAN-UP!
Yeah, that's right. Become a man, and beat that spider to a pulp.
2. Get someone else to do your bidding.
This is usually my favorite method of spider execution. If you don't mind the title of "wimp," get someone else to kill that sucker. It makes them look awesome and BA, but you ultimately get rid of your problem.
The only thing you DON'T want to do is....
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD,
Don't ignore it. It'll make you crazy.
Every time you shower, you'll wonder. Is it here? Did it get into my bedroom? Maybe it's laying eggs in my sink!!!
Don't fall for it's innocent facade. Kill it.
 |
| KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!! |
I'm hoping that from now on I won't have to deal with that crap. Related to the Avatar reference, I got a new fish. His name is Sokka. He loves all of you.
I love you too, have a nice week!!!
~xoxoxo Britt<3
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