Wednesday, June 29, 2011

Thanks to the readers!

I want to thank everyone that's avidly been reading the blog. We finally broke 500 views, and that's AWESOME considering we've only been up two months. I made green cupcakes to celebrate CrazyZombieMuffins, and I wish that I could give every single person who has been devoted one! 

Yay, green cupcakes!
I don't have a ton to write about today but I have had a recently odd experience. 

By choice my dad flipped HBO on and chose to watch Twilight: Eclipse. Mind you, he chose this over other movies on like Robin Hood. Dad's opinion of Twilight...well... 


1. She's messing around with a old dead guy?? EWWWW

2. Vampires aren't real anymore. Remember stuff back in the day like Gore De Vol, that was real. 
This is the face of real
3. Wow, Bella is a slut!

4. Is he saying he doesn't want to mess around with her because he might kill her? Let's use that against teen pregnancy...

5. People pay to see this fake stuff? I pay eight dollars to see this and the vampires aren't even real! When I go to a zoo, I pay  to see lions, but I don't want to look at it and be like: He ain't got no mane, he don't have no tail, that's a mouse! That ain't no lion.

6. So she's sleeping with a dead guy, that's like sleeping with a freaking zombie!

7. Vampires are wimps now. I can imagine them now, flying through the air delivering flowers. FTD! (This one didn't make much sense to me, but it made me laugh)

8. Their eyes are like freaking golden and no one notices. That's like the Hulk, he could just walk around green and no one would know. 

9. Vampires are so fake, they can live in the real world now and NOW they can GRADUATE. 

10. (And my personal favorite) As soon as the credits start rolling he says: Well CRAP. That cold blooded bastard. 

Thanks for reading guys, and make sure you keep coming back!!! This is unrelated, but I found it funny..

Because real vampires are green

~xoxoxo Britt<3

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Oh, how the times have changed...

Today when browsing the kitchen for breakfast, I found the cereal that I had always known and loved...Trix. However, if you're a 90's child, you'll be sad to know it's not the Trix you know and love. No. These were CORPORATE TRIX... some kind of sick facade that's supposed to make you feel like you're eating a breakfast that was made with love. This, however, is a LIE. It's a STRAIGHT UP LIE!!! When Trix were originally born, yes they were puffs. 
However, around 1992 something amazing happened. These puffs were given shapes and personalities. These cereal pieces were shaped like their respective fruits, so one didn't have to wonder whether their puff was "watermelon" or not. But NO MORE do these Trix exsit, and I was forced to face that harsh reality when eating breakfast this morning. I ate the puffs, the round cut out shapes that were probably regulated to make a buck. IT DISGUSTS ME!! 
However, I begrudgingly ate the cereal. Down with puffs!!!
Oh yes, I ate them in color order

As my day furthered, I found that there was something more sick and twisted than corporate Trix right around the corner. I remember when things were good and magic was entertaining enough. However, this generation doesn't find Harry Potter to be as important as SOME THINGS. It wounds me to speak of this, so I'll just upload the picture that I found in a "teen magazine." 

What sort of Tom Foolery is this?!?!??!
Yes, kids, because watching an emotionless teen give birth to a vampire baby that isn't even biologically feasible is a lot more exciting than the legacy of The Boy Who Lived. 
Words cannot describe what I feel.... so if you feel as sick as I do, make yourself feel a little better by watching this AWESOME video that isn't about sparkly vampires....

You're Welcome.
~xoxoxo Britt<3

Saturday, June 18, 2011

Bacon of the Kevin Variety and Other Ramblings

Greetings readers.  I am an awful person, have it be known! I find it true, though, because I haven’t kept up with blog posts at ALL. However, I’ve been working hard to actually make money, so I can access things like the Internet. (Or whatever it’s called) So yeah, disregard women, acquire currency. I guess this is applicable for my neglect towards the blog if you’re reading this and you’re a woman. 

This is also unrelated, but I mentioned to my friend that when you're being paid by your granddad to paint the house, it feels a lot like the karate kid. However, it takes hours instead of the five minutes they feature Daniel painting the house.

I specifically chose this picture because it was ridiculous

Anyway, I don’t have any solid jokes but mere ramblings about my life whilst I’ve been attending to other things.  I went to see X Men: First Class. Highly recommended. However, I must just say… KEVIN BACON. 

Have you ever noticed that when you see Kevin Bacon in a movie (well at least in current times) it’s never like “oh [insert the name of whatever character he’s playing] that’s pretty cool!”? Instead it’s always like “OH….KEVIN BACON IS IN THIS, did you know he was going to be in this?” It’s often like that, too, and then what makes it worse is you don’t know what to expect, because Kevin Bacon has many, many faces.

Exhibit A:

"Sexy" Kevin
Young blood-covered Kevin

Creepy mustache Kevin
Nerdy Kevin
Pondering Kevin

Psychotic Kevin
Needless to say,Kevin Bacon is one eclectic dude. Alas, I rest my case.  

Additionally, when watching  X Men: First Class,  I experienced a recurring moment that seems to always haunt me. Something completely off the wall happens, or something shocking happens and everyone is quiet and I BUST out laughing. In this case, it was when Hank gropes the boob of one of the mannequins.  I’m fairly certain I almost snorted, but everyone else in the theater said nothing and kind of gave me dirty looks. I’m sorry that I’m observant, people.

A similar incident happened in the movie “The Rite” with Anthony Hopkins. SPOILER ALERT. He backhands a small Asian girl out of the blue because he’s possessed.  Also, if anyone can find a video of this, I’ll literally pay them. I have searched a ton, but I digress. The point is that I guess it’s really wrong to find something like that hilarious. Theater goers aren’t very accepting people.

To conclude this blog, I have something great. I don’t know how it relates, I guess it falls under the category of “finding moments in movies far, far too funny” or something like that.  My dear friend sent it to me when having a conversation about the whole Anthony Hopkins incident. So enjoy!

Also, as a WARNING I watched this about 50 times in one day. Judge me as you may, but if you’re as sleep deprived as I was, you may find it highly addicting. 

Monday, June 13, 2011

Happy Birthday? (Or not)

So peeps, I've been seriously sick. Therefore, I am a bit behind on posting. Inspiration just isn't the same when you've spent your day watching 5 consecutive movies and sleeping. However, I did finally come up with something great. After thinking about how I'd love to make sarcastic greeting cards, I thought about sarcastic facebook posts that I'd love to say in real life. Observe. 

Some divine power must have known that I wanted to wish someone a Happy Birthday. Well even though I have ample time, I'll begrudgingly do this because it takes two precious seconds of my time but will make me seem like a good person. 

If I didn't have a decency filter, this is how stuff would go down. 
Additionally, I apologize for the width and you having to scroll over. It lost it's luster being teeny tiny, so deal with it. 
Also, if today is coincidentally your birthday, this probably wasn't directed at you, but you're just the victim of my passing thoughts at a bad time. So, don't take any offense. And in actuality, there weren't any people I felt like saying this to today, which is sort of a shame.

That's all I have for today folks, but I'll try to keep the sarcasm coming as soon as I feel a bit better. 

~xoxoxox Britt<3

Thursday, June 2, 2011

Family Tree

Today it's all the trend... finding out who our ancestors are. Were our ancestors Englishmen? Are we able to truly say that our family is "Native American" like every other person will try to claim? Or maybe we can have final proof that our ancestors were "the oppressed," giving us an excuse to get away with doing less work and guilt tripping those with less oppressed ancestors. 
However you look at it, sites like "" are bringing in the bucks to fill your looming desire to discover your roots. Now, this is a convenience for many. The downside, though, is that some may find out they have ancestors they'd rather not claim at all. 
Here we see it in action....

Chucky, a hardcore killer wondered about his bloodline.
Burning with questions he entered ""... 

Too bad it wasn't Ted Bundy or something. Who would have thought that Master Geppetto set his whole family into motion. (Ancestry dot com did!)
 Anyway, I just HAD to make this post because of my dad. I can't remember the conversation, but I think it might have been about horror films. Dad mocked Chucky, saying he was "the freaking great grandson of Pinocchio or something." So yeah, credit goes to him. If you found it even a tad hilarious as I did, I have succeeded. 

I shall try to post more soon, but I am getting in one a week, at least. 

~xoxoxoxo Britt<3